Queen Beryl frowned faintly.  Ever since she had finally managed to
punch open a hole back to the normal universe, she'd had a vague feeling
like something was missing.  Some of my henchmen are missing, right?
Didn't I corrupt Endymion's Guardians?  So what did I do with them?  She
racked her brain, but she couldn't figure it out.  

     She held her hands over her staff-globe and concentrated.  Four
figures appeared in the globe.  They all looked like normal humans going
about their normal lives.  Suddenly, she understood.  I must have killed
them, then forgotten about it. Now they've been reincarnated.  Well, I
will fix that.  I know I've got a few mind-control crystals lying around
somewhere.  

      Wait...if my henchmen have been dead, who did I put in charge of my
energy draining operations?  More holes in her memory.  Beryl frowned.
Something funny was going on.


*******************

Marmalade Moon, Episode 2:

"The Matsuuras move in and so do the forces of evil.
 But which of these will be more trouble?"

********************

      The divorce had gone through.  Miki could hardly believe it.  They
had moved into their new home, and now she and her parents were living
with the Matsuuras and their son.  He was cute, but he could be kinda mean
sometimes.  Well, he liked teasing, anyway.  

      Miki finished unpacking her stuff while Luna snoozed on her bed.
"Hey, Luna, wake up."

      "Mrrr...what?"

      "What do you think of the Matsuuras?"  Miki clambered up onto her
desk to hang a picture on the wall.  

      "They seem like nice people, which probably means they're just
trying to lure us into a false sense of security before they try to steal
all our energy and throw our bodies in a dumpster."  Luna stretched.  "Or
it could be that your parents are just insane.  Does this happen every
time they go on vacation?"

      "No, this was an all-time low for them."  She raised the hammer and
brought it down on her thumb.  "AAAAA!!!!"  She toppled backwards off the
desk, but to her surprise, someone caught her.

      Yuu Matsuura, who was tall, blonde, cute, and about to be her
step-brother, was standing there, holding her.  "Good thing I came in
here.  I heard you talking to someone, but didn't recognize the voice."
He looked around.  "Hey...no one here but you and your cat."

      "I was...um...practicing throwing my voice."  Miki said.

      He smiled.  "You're pretty good at it, then."  He put Miki down.
"Better than you are at using a hammer, I see."  He took the hammer and
finished putting in the nail and hung up the picture, which was one of
Miki with her parents.  "Nice picture."

      "Uh, thanks.  For catching me."

      He nodded and headed for the door.  "Just let me know when you're
planning to fall down again.  Say...five minutes warning?"

      "Yuuu!!!!!!!!"

      He laughed as she chased him off.

***************************

      Meiko got out the exchange diary and tried to decide what to write
in it.  She turned to Miki's entry and began reading.  'Today, I found a
cat that some children were picking on.  They were dressed up in silly
'Gastaman' outfits and were chasing it around with their water pistols.
So I charged them with the towel I had taken to practice tennis and drove
them off, shouting that I was the Towel Monster.  After a while, we all
started laughing and had fun running around being silly.  Sometimes, it's
nice to be a little kid again, at least in spirit.  After they finally
left, the cat came over and rubbed up against my legs.  She was a really
beautiful cat, with soft black fur and a white patch on her forehead.  I
tried to take her home with me, but she ran off.  I guess cats can't make
up their minds.'

      The diary continued, 'The weather is very beautiful, but my life is
so boring.  I wish something exciting would happen.'  

      It was at this point that things got a little strange.  The
handwriting of the next part was VERY different, and quite beautiful.  
'Your wish is granted.  Signed, Sealed, and Notarized by Urd, Second Class
Goddess of the Goddess Relief Office.'  

      'For more details, go downstairs and turn on your TV.  Moving this
pen is making my wrist cramp up.'

      Meiko stared.  Was this some sort of odd joke by Miki?  It had to
be.  Maybe this was her way of dealing with her odd family business.  Hmm.
Well, if Miki can play a little joke, so can I.  Hmm.  

      Her mind drifted back to her recent disastrous trip to the jewelry
store.  She had wanted to buy a present for her special person, but then
everyone had started acting weird and then everything became fuzzy.  There
had been some sort of battle between a tennis player, a golfer, and a
monster.  Maybe.  

     There had been a lot of buzz around the school about this, rumors
ranging from alien invasion to mass hallucination.  What could be
happening?  Maybe I should talk to Na-chan about it, she thought.  And
what to write in the diary?  

     She looked around her desk, and a book caught her eye.  Ahh, perfect,
she thought.  I shouldn't tease Miki like this, but if she's going to
pretend a goddess scribbled on her entry...

****************

       "General Jinnai, report."  Beryl said, hoping that the control
crystals worked and that she'd found the right person.  She dimly
remembered one of her generals had dark hair, although some part of her
mind was insisting he had had long hair, not short, but this guy was
definitely a reincarnated being of power.  

       The man stared at her.  "Report what?"  He looked around the huge
cavern, then at Beryl.  "Do I know you?"

       Beryl sighed.  If I have to go through this with all four
generals...  "Do you remember anything?"

      "All I know is that it must be Makoto's fault."  He paused.  "That I
can't remember anything."  He paused again.  "At least, I think his name
is Makoto."

      "You must gather energy so that we can revive Queen Metallia."

      "The two bands merged?"

      Only her need for minions kept Beryl from killing him right off the
bat and starting over.  

*****************

      Far away, the Committee in Charge of Draining the Earth of All of
its Energy to Revive Queen Metallia, also known as CICODTEOAOIETRQM came
to order.  While Beryl was recruiting generals, it had fallen to this
committee, a subcommittee of the Select Committee for the Conquest of All
of Reality, Even the Icky Parts, to conduct energy draining operations.
"Youma Quartzite, please report on your operation in the OSA-P jewelry
store."

      "I began the operation by infiltrating the establishment in the
guise of its owner, Mrs. Osaka, utilizing my disguise abilities at the
third level of accuracy.  Having taken control by tying up the owner and
locking her in the closet while gagged, I..."

      Committeemonster Onyx inquired, "Why were you gagged at the time?"
His skin was pitch black, and his eyes were a solid blue with no pupils.
He had solid white hair that looked painted onto his head.

      "She was gagged."

      "You did not make this clear in your report."

      "Having gagged the owner, tied her up, and locked her in the closet,
I declared a sale in order to attract a horde of customers.  Then I.."
Youma Quartzite began.

      "Was the store not actually selling anything before you took
control?"  Committeemonster Calyx asked.  She was green, with purple eyes
and hair that looked like grape vines, and was wearing a toga.

      Quartzite frowned.  "A sale, as in a discount sale."

      "I thought the store sold Jewelry,"  Committeemonster Opal said,
checking the report.  "Yes, it says that right here.  How do you sell
discounts?"  He was tall and fat with dark black hair.  

       The committee had to be hastily adjourned to a later date after
Quartzite extended her arms across the room and down Opal's throat, then
tried to rip out his lungs.  It was resolved to send Youma Bigmouth to
continue the operations until another meeting could be held.

**********************

       Miki and Yuu were walking home from school together, followed by
Luna.  Now he's going to my school, she thought.  I can't get away from
this insanity anywhere.  And I have to worry about these monsters too!
And if that nutso goddess shows up again and...

      *BONK!*  Miki crashed into a lamppost.   

      Yuu bent over and picked up Luna.  "I like your cat, Miki.  You
could take lessons in gracefulness from her." Luna purred.

       Miki frowned.  "Why are you so RUDE?"

       "Do you think I'm rude, Luna?"  Yuu asked Luna, who simply purred
in reply.

       Miki hmphed and began to stomp off.  Even my cat is against me, she
thought.  She didn't get very far before she saw a huge poster in the shop
window.  It showed a cute young girl with very long blonde hair dressed in
what looked like a Tokyo Giants uniform.  However, she was wearing a
magenta face mask like the one the masked golfer had worn a few days ago,
although his had been a simple black.  Her baseball cap had two linked
crescent moons on the front where the team symbol normally would be, and
she held a glowing bat in one hand and a yellow baseball in the other.
The poster proclaimed her to be 'Softball Warrior V, protector of the
innocent'.  There was a TV station and time listed under that.  "Cool,"
Miki said.

       "She looks goofy to me,"  Yuu said.  "What's next, magical girls
who ride giant wombats?"

       "You're just jealous."

       "Of a 14 year old in a softball uniform?  Get real,"  Yuu said.  He
said to Luna, "You agree with me, right, Luna?"

       Luna was utterly silent, staring at the poster.  

       Miki laughed.  "See?  She agrees with me!"

       Luna suddenly leaped out of Yuu's arms and bolted off down the
street.  Miki stared after her.

       "Maybe she's afraid of baseball players,"  Yuu speculated.

******************

       Youma Bigmouth was struggling to get into a suit.  How this woman
wears these stupid outfits, she thought...Her bad attitude must help
somehow...hey, I have a bad attitude!  Yeah, I can do this.  "FIT, YOU
STUPID SCHOOL TEACHER OUTFIT OR I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!"  Suddenly, the
suitdress fit perfectly.  Youma Bigmouth smiled and made sure the teacher
was properly locked up in the closet.  

      She hopped in the teacher's car and drove down to the school.  It
was dark and poorly lit, but she liked it like that.  Oddly, no one was
around.  Hmm.  I must have gotten to work early, Youma Bigmouth thought.  

      After the first few hours, she started to worry.  Is it Sunday?
Maybe I came on a day they don't have school.  I should have checked the
calendar...this is going to look bad on my final report.  

******************

      Miki was about to read Meiko's entry in the exchange diary when Luna
said, "I need to tell you more about your duties as a tennis warrior."

      Miki put down the book.  "Are you SURE you have the right person?
I'm really not much of a fighter."  She thought a moment.  "And do you
know Softball Warrior V from somewhere?"

      Luna nodded.  "She was one of the Moon Kingdom's defenders as well.
Unlike most, however, she crosstrained in multiple combat sports.  Each of
the inhabited planets had its own team of warriors.  The Moon was defended
by the Tennis Warriors.  The Earth was defended by a Golfing foursome.
Venus had an entire Softball team.  Mercury's team was a soccer squad.
Mars produced a track and field squad. Jupiter was noted for truly
dangerous Rugby warriors.  The forces of evil dreaded the Basketball
Soldiers of Saturn.  All those rings came in handy for shooting practice,
I guess.  Uranus had a racing team; Neptune, of course, had a squad of
Lifeguards and expert swimmers, and Pluto had the Ice Skating All-Star
Squadron."

       "You're making this up."

       Luna shook her head.  "Nope.  It's all real.  The Tennis Warriors
of the Moon were the elite force, for each of them cross-trained with the
squadron of the world they represented."

       "So what should I be cross-training in?"

       Luna was very quiet.

       "Hmmmm?"

       Luna sweatdropped.  "I can't remember."

       "You ARE making it all up!"

       Luna shook her head.  "Anyway, we also have to look for the Moon
Princess, who has been reborn here on Earth like the rest of you."

      "Who killed us?"

       "Queen Beryl lead a revolt against Queen Serenity and her army
destroyed the Moon Kingdom.  She is the one sending the monsters.
Queen Serenity destroyed the army with the Silver Moon Crystal, but not
before everyone died."

       "Why did she wait?"

       "The attack came by surprise.  The crystal was too dangerous to
carry all the time, so she had to go get it.  Afterwards, she reincarnated
all of the fallen here on Earth, sending you all to the future so you
would be safe, and sending me to find you if Beryl escaped her prison in
Mordor."

       "She sent Beryl to Mordor?"

       "Well, Sauron wasn't using it anymore, so it was available.
Anyway, we need to find the rest of the Tennis Warriors as soon as
possible."

       "How?"

       "Ummm...Wander around mindlessly until we stumble into them?"

       "Is that how you found me?"

       Luna nodded.

       Miki thought a moment.  "And how long did this take?"

       Luna began counting on her paws.  "Ten years."

       "And how soon will Beryl conquer everything?"

       Luna sweatdropped.  "Maybe we could do a search on the Internet."

       "And how will I know if I find one, anyway?"

       "I have something that can help."  Luna leaped into the air, "Rise,
rise, cast off this form of man, become the...oh wait, wrong magic
phrase."  She crashed onto the floor and looked very silly.  Dragging
herself up onto her paws, she lept airborne again, "Boil, boil, toil and
trouble, cauldron...no wait, that's not it either."  She landed on Miki's
head this time.  

       Miki took her off her head and put her on the bed.  "How about just
shouting Shazam?"

       Luna nodded.  "SHAZAM!"  A lightning bolt struck down without
damaging the ceiling and immolated Luna.  Luna was now dressed in a white
tunic and skirt with a yellow lightning bolt on her chest.  "This is cute,
but NOT what I was trying to do."

       Miki laughed.  "You could try humming the Inspector Gadget theme."

      "This is bad enough.  Ahh, now I remember.  Luna Mask Power!"  She
leaped into the air, doing a back flip, and a blue mask like the ones that
the Masked Golfer and Softball Warrior V wore appeared, fluttering down to
the bed.  "This mask will let you spot the symbol that a true warrior of
the White Gold Millenium has on their forehead."

      Miki picked up the mask and tried looking at Luna, who looked just
the same.  "You don't look any different."

      "That's because I'm a cat, not a warrior."

     There was a knock on the door.  Miki quickly hid the mask.  "Come
in!"

     It was Yuu's father.  Miki couldn't remember his name.  "Dinner will
be ready soon."

     "Okay!"  Miki said.  She forgot about the diary entirely.

****************

     Meiko and Miki sat together before class with Yuu, out on the school
patio.  "Did you remember the exchange diary?"  Meiko asked, smiling
broadly with a bit of a wicked glint in her eye.

     "Aaah!  I forgot!"  Miki said.  "I'm sorry, I'll do an entry as soon
as I get home."

     Meiko laughed a little bit.  "Don't worry."

     "I'm amazed you two trust each other enough to do something like
that,"  Yuu said.  "To share a diary."

     Miki smiled.  "We've been best friends for years now.  It's a lot of
fun.  Don't tell me there's no one you'd be willing to do that with?"

     Yuu shook his head.  "Not really."  He paused.  "I did have a friend
like that once, years ago, but we haven't seen each other in a while."

     Miki felt sorry for Yuu.  Everyone needs a good close friend, she
thought.  He looked sad, which surprised her.  "Well, I hope you get to
see him again soon.  It's good to keep in touch with friends."

     Yuu nodded.  "Yeah.  My family has moved several times from my
parents seeing a house and deciding they want it, so I've left some
friends behind."

     Meiko said, "They can afford to move that often?"

     Yuu laughed a little.  "I don't think they worry about that sort of
thing."

     The conversation was interrupted by a girl approaching the table.
She was tall and pretty, with long green-black straight hair and large
bangs.  Her skin was deeply tanned and her eyes were a startling lavender.
Miki felt a surge of jealousy at the girl's nice figure.  She was wearing
a Toryo uniform, but Miki was sure she had never seen her before.  "Excuse
me, this is my first day here.  I just transferred.  Do you know how to
find class 2-B?"

      Meiko said, "That's the class we're all in.  You're in luck."

      "I'm Koishikawa Miki,"  Miki said.  "Nice to meet you!"

      "Matsuura Yuu."

      "Akizuki Meiko."

      "I'm Mei'ou Setsuna,"  the girl said.  "Nice to meet you too."  She
smiled at everyone.  "This really looks like a nice school.  Does it have
a tennis team?"

      Meiko and Yuu both turned and stared at Miki, who said, "Yeah.  I'm
in it.  We meet after school."

      At this point, a boy approached the group.  "Hey, Miki, want to
practice a while with me before class?"

      "Sure.  Mei'ou-san, this is my friend Suou Ginta.  He's also in the
Tennis Club.  Ginta, this is Mei'ou Setsuna.  She's new here, and
interested in the tennis club."  Miki got up.  "You can show us how good
you are, Mei'ou-san."

      "Sounds like fun," she said, smiling as she went off with Miki and
Ginta.

     Yuu turned to Meiko and asked, "Is that Miki's boyfriend?"


     Meiko shook her head.  "He's just a good friend.  Miki had a big
crush on him in Junior High and even told him, but he dumped her.  Then he
shaved his head the next day and for a while they hid from each other, but
now they're friends again."

     Yuu nodded and watched the trio head for the tennis courts.

***************

     Far away, a woman woke up in an alley, clutching her head.  There was
a bruise on the back of her head, although you couldn't see it through her
long hair.  However, she didn't need to see it to know it was there and
hurt a lot.

     Her preternatural senses kicked in as she stood up.  Something was
wrong.  The time stream had been tampered with.  It was her duty to fix
such problems.  She summoned her staff and stepped into the place that was
not a place, into the time tunnel whose guardian she was.  From here, she
could observe all times and learn what was wrong.  Only she could enter
and leave so freely.

     As she prepared to observe the time stream, a voice spoke.  "And who
might you be?"

     The woman turned and stared in shock at a short, mature woman of
about twenty five to thirty years of age.  The other woman had long white
hair and deep blue eyes.  She was carrying a staff with the same orb
embedded in it as in Sailor Pluto's, but hers resembled a cross between a
glaive and a key, and she wore a pink tennis uniform, with the same symbol
in gold on her visor that Pluto had on her tiara.

     In unison, they both said, "Who are you?  Imposter!"

     For a moment, there was silence.  They both started to speak, then
fell silent.  A second effort at speech also came simultaneously,
deterring either from actually finishing.  Finally, the second woman said,
"Name yourself."

     "I am Sailor Pluto."

     The second woman cocked her head, frowned slightly, then said, "You
don't look like a sailor.  Where's your boat?"

     Pluto rolled her eyes.  She got a seven.  "I am the guardian of the
time stream."

     The second woman shook her head.  "I am the Guardian of the Time
Stream, appointed by Queen Serenity I, at the start of the White Gold
Millenium.  I am Tennis Warrior Pluto.  My specialty sport is Ice
Skating."

     Pluto blinked.  Maybe I accidentally took some drugs today, she
thought.  Surely if this was an evil plot, they'd be less silly.  After
thinking about some of the evil plots she had dealt with, she began to
change her mind on that issue.  "There was no White Gold Millenium."

     TW Pluto quirked her lips in a smile, and Pluto suddenly recognized
her.  This isn't possible, Pluto thought.  You should still be living a
normal life...well, sort of normal.  Okay, not very normal at all.
Still...

     TW Pluto said, "Shall I show you?  Whoever you really are?"

     "Show me."

     They vanished into the past.

*****************

      Everyone filed into the classroom and was quite surprised to see
that Namura-sensei, aka Na-chan, was not there that day.  Instead a very
groggy Kyoto-sensei was apparently substituting.  Except that she was
asleep.

      Setsuna whispered to Miki, "Is this normal here?"

      Miki shook her head.  "No."

      Being well disciplined students, for about a half hour they just sat
there and watched Kyoto-sensei snore peacefully.  Slowly, the class
dissolved into knots of talking and chatting people.  A few people
actually studied, but most goofed off entirely.  

      This day would be remembered as the calm before the storm.

*********************

      Gym class was a welcome break from goofing off, since there simply
were only so many ways you could goof off in the classroom without having
prepared in advance to goof off.  For whatever reason, the class ended up
playing basketball.  Miki, although she wouldn't have admitted it, was
spending more time watching the boys than actually paying attention to
the game she was in.  Yuu was REALLY good.  He stole the ball from a boy
named Takamoto, crossed the floor and made a really good jump shot.  

      Miki thought, he's so cool!  I wish I could play basketball that
well.  This was her last thought for a while as a basketball suddenly
clocked her in the face and she went down, hard.

      Miki woke up in the nurse's office.  Meiko and Setsuna were sitting
nearby.  Setsuna said, "I'm sorry, Miki.  I didn't mean to hit you in the
face!  I guess basketball isn't really my sport."

      "It's okay.  I should have been paying attention.  I'll be fine with
a little more rest."

      Setsuna got up.  "Okay.  See you at tennis practice!"  She ran off,
looking embarrassed.

      Meiko said, "I'll go get your stuff for you, Miki.  I'll be right
back."

      She passed Yuu coming in as she went out.  "Hello, Azizuki-san," he
said.

      "Hello, Matsuura-san."  She headed off.

       Miki closed her eyes.  He's going to make fun of me for getting
clonked by the basketball, she thought.  His voice rang through her head.
'Miki, if you're going to fall down, give me five minutes warning, okay?'
She sighed and closed her eyes even more tightly.

      Footsteps in darkness.  Miki heard him coming closer.  She wanted to
peek, but knew he would notice.  I can be quiet, she thought.  Silent as a
church mouse.  

      There was hot air blowing on her face.  What's going on, she
thought?  Something was touching her lips.  Lips were touching her lips.
Someone's kissing me!  That was more than Miki could take.  She peeked
just a tiny bit.  It was Yuu.  Miki couldn't believe it.

      He got up quietly and walked out of the room.  After he was gone,
Miki sat straight up in the bed and asked herself, "What was THAT?"

****************

       The next few days blurred together.  Na-chan was still sick and
absent from class.  Kyoto-sensei recovered and was much more effective as
a substitute...much, much more effective.  It was like Academic boot camp.
Eight hours of drill through math, science, literature, history, and
everything else.  It was the most utterly boring, mindsapping experience
of Miki's life. 

      Then she would go home and lie around the house all day because she
didn't have the energy to do anything else, except get chewed out by Luna
for not looking for the other Tennis Warriors.  Miki was too tired to look
for her tennis racquet, let alone tennis warriors.  She still hadn't even
read Meiko's last diary entry, which wasn't so bad, since Meiko had lacked
the energy to inquire about it.

      Luna decided to go whine to someone who wouldn't just lie there and
say, "Zzzzzzzzz."  

      After wandering out of the house, she suddenly realized that she
didn't actually KNOW anyone she could go talk to.  Artemis must be out
there somewhere, she thought.  Not that I'd want to talk to him, of
course.

       Luna passed by an arcade.  Crown Games, it proclaimed.  Drawn by
the flashing lights and tinny electronic voices proclaiming, 'Mortal
Wombat!', she entered and soon spotted a knot of children around a girl
who was playing the 'Softball Warrior V' fighting game.  She scampered
over and leaped up into the lap of a kind-looking red head with wavy hair.  

      The girl playing the game was incredibly bad at it, but also
incredibly obsessed.  She was pumping coin after coin into the game, in
which Softball Warrior V was facing off with some villian called
'Strikeman', who looked like a cross between a baseball player, a bird,
and a hockey player.  The player had long blonde hair gathered into two
buns, one on each side of her head with long trailing ponytails.  Her face
was grim and determined.  "I WILL WIN!"

       As she raised her fists into the air and proclaimed this, Strikeman
bopped Softball Warrior V on the head with a bat and she passed out.
'Game over.  Insert coin to continue'.  The girl dug in her pocket.  "I'm
out of money!  Waaaah, Naru-chan, you've got to float me a loan!"

       "We already hocked your brother's bike...I'm out of cash,
Usagi-chan," Naru said.  "You could see if Motoki can float you a loan."

       "Aaaaaaandrew!"  Usagi yelled.

       A blond boy said, "My name is Motoki.  Not Andrew."

       "But it always gets your attention."

       He sighed and came over, but it was too late.  The ten seconds were
up.  Luna watched the credits roll, and saw:  Original Game Concept:
Artemis.  Written using:  White Gold MOS.  Not for Sale or Rent.  Stays
Crispy in Milk.'  That idiot, Luna thought.  He's gone into video game
design instead of looking for the Tennis Warriors!  Still, I might be able
to use this to contact him...

*******************

      Youma Bigmouth gloated.  So much energy I've gathered!  Perhaps
Queen Beryl will allow me to get a new name.  I could be one of her
generals!  I could call myself...Edie Brackell.  Yeah.  And name my Youma
Army the New Bohemians.  Perfect.  

      When General Jinnai arrived, Youma Bigmouth was singing to herself
in the mirror.  "I don't know, about anything.  Religion..with a bagel and
lox, I bought my soul in a cereal box..."  

      At first General Jinnai simply stared in surprise, wondering how
Youma Bigmouth had gone mad.  Then his soul began to rot as he listened to
her sing.  "SILENCE!  You work for ME now, and I HATE bad music!  Makoto
put you up to this!  Tell the truth!"

      Youma Bigmouth blinked.  "Who?"

      He stomped over.  "What is your name?"

      "Youma Bigmouth."

      Looking at her he said grudgingly, "Okay, that is appropriate.  I
was going to rename you."

      "Actually, I'd like a new name."

      "Perfect.  I'll name you....Youma 'Death of Makoto in a Horrible
Manner'.

      "Can I have a shorter name?"

      He thought a moment.  "How about Harpo?"

      "But he never spoke."

      "Okay, you are now Youma Lolita."

      "..."

      Jinnai sat down in the nice plush chair nearby.  "Now, the first
thing we're going to do is turn the entire SCHOOL into a energy draining
facility.  I will be replacing the principal, and one by one, we'll
replace the teachers with youmas."

       "You don't look like the Principal, sir."

       He held up a Richard Nixon mask.  "With this clever disguise, I..."

       "The principal doesn't look like Richard Nixon."

       "Well, fix that."

       "Right."

*************************

       The Saturday afternoon Principal-Teachers conference had
Ryoko-sensei worried.  Not only had Namura-kun been sick for a week, but
his subsitute, Kyoto-sensei had been acting completely strange that whole
week as well. Now the Principal was ranting about the need for greater
discipline, and new teachers, and had taken to wearing a Richard Nixon
mask.  The tennis club, of which she and Namura-kun were the sponsors,
was suffering, as its best players were all in 2-B, which Kyoto-sensei had
been working to death, it seemed, in a sort of Academic Bataan Death
March.  

      It finally dragged to an end, and she decided to go visit
Namura-kun.  She had meant to go earlier, but with one thing after
another, she hadn't gotten around to it.  When she reached his apartment,
Akizuki Meiko was there as well, banging on the door and looking worried.
"Ryoko-sensei!  He's not answering his phone or answering the door.  I
think something must be really wrong with him."

      She frowned.  "Maybe he just went to the hospital."

      "But I've been trying to get ahold of him for days to see if he was
okay."  She paused and looked slightly embarrassed.  "We all have.  No
one's seen or heard from him."

      Ryoko frowned.  She had a feeling that something was wrong.  "You're
in his class, right, Akizuki-san?"

      Meiko nodded.  "It's been so rough with Kyoto-sensei...I meant to
come earlier to try to see if he was okay, but we've all been so tired..."

      Ryoko tried knocking.  "Namura-kun?  Are you home?"

      All was silent.  A door opened next door.  "Could you people please
STOP banging on that door?  I'm trying to sleep!"  An old lady yelled.

      "Urk...gomen."

*******************

      The next school day, that Monday, was an utter disaster. Half the
teachers seemed to be acting like total maniacs.  The other half looked
harried to death. The principal was everywhere, still wearing that
ridiculous mask.  Also, this black cat was prowling around everywhere
getting underfoot.  As Ryoko was about to head into the teacher's lounge,
she passed class 1-A, and heard something odd.

      "Now, everyone, repeat after me."  It was Toro-Sensei.  "We are
servants of the Negaverse."  Pause.  "Dark Kingdom.  Sorry about that.
Okay, repeat.  We pledge allegiance to Big Fire!"  Pause.  "We pledge
allegiance to the flag...no, that's not right.  Look, I'm going to just
start sucking out your life force, because I'm just not cut out to fake
being a teacher.  Okay?"

       Is everyone on drugs but me?  Ryoko-sensei wondered.  She cracked
the door open and saw a befanged, blue-skinned Toro going student to
student, putting a hand on their head and collecting some kind of glowing
energy from them.  For several minutes, she just watched, hoping somehow
she was having a flashback to watching Ultraman as a child.  

       It was a very vivid flashback, if it was one.  Finally, she snapped
out of her fugue and ran towards the principal's office.  Maybe he would
know what to do, assuming he hadn't flipped out completely by now.  As she
reached to open his office door, she heard maniacal laughter and someone
ranting, "This plan is going perfectly.  Soon, I will have stolen all the
energy from everyone, and then we'll be able to...to..."  He paused.
"Youma Potato Pancake...what are we going to do with this energy?"

       "I think we're trying to wake Queen Metallia."

       "Wouldn't it be easier just to shake her til she wake up?"
Silence.  "Well, that sounds like a waste of time to me, so I think we'll
use the energy to assault Shinonome High School and destroy Mizuhara ONCE
AND FOR ALL!"

       "Queen Beryl won't like this."

       "If Queen Beryl understood how utterly vile Makoto Mizuhara is, I'm
sure she'd approve.  He has made a flaming wreckage of my life!  He's
probably the one who sent that Tennis Warrior to wreck our first operation
here!  MIZUHARA IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL!"

       That was enough for Ryoko.  School authority had clearly collapsed.
Namura-kun was sick, her hot water heater had gone out, and it was that
time of the month.  It was time to get dangerous.

**************

       Miki was zoning at her desk as the teacher forced them to recite
the periodic table of elements for the twenty third time.  All she wanted
to do was sleep.  

      "Oxygen.  Atomic Number is 8.  Atomic Mass is  15.9994.  Oxygen
enjoys hanging around parties and skydiving."  Shiko sounded even more
zoned than Miki.

      "Flourine."  Meiko said.  "Atomic Number is 9.  Atomic Weight is
18.998404.  More fun than a barrel of monkies."


      Silence fell upon the land.  The teacher rapped her desk with a
ruler.  "Koishikawa-san."

      "Wh...what?"

      "The next element!  Now!"

      Miki said, "Uhh...Salt.  Atomic number is..."

      "Salt is a compound!"

      Miki looked around for help and saw little streamers of light coming
out of everyone to a huge glowing ball forming next to the teacher.  She
recognized this from the jewelry store.  Kyoto-sensei is another monster
from the Dark Kingdom!  "Umm...can I go to the bathroom and answer when I
come back?"

      Kyoto-sensei frowned.  "Answer first."

      "Umm...Mithril?"

      "Mithril is imaginary!  Oh forget it.  Go to the bathroom."

      Miki ran out into the hallway and pulled her transformation locket
out of the inside of her uniform.  "LOVE FORTY, GAME POINT!"  she shouted,
transforming.  She felt revived once her transformation sequence was over.
"I'll show that monster she can't come around our school and make a mess
of things!"

      Very faintly, a voice nearby said, "Is that you, Miki?"

      Tennis Warrior Moon froze in place.  "Ryoko-sensei?"

      "Hai.  Do you know what's going on?"

      Luna ran up to TW Moon.  "There you are!  Finally, I found you!  The
school is being taken over by monsters!"

      "I know.  And I'm really going to enjoy blasting Kyoto-sensei back
to the Dark Kingdom after how BORING this last week was!"  Tennis Warrior
Moon said, "Luna, get Ryoko-sensei to safety.  I'll go take out the
monster."

      "There's more than one.  Be careful.  A lot of the teachers have
been replaced."  Ryoko said.  "I think they got the principal too."

      Luna nodded.  "Be brave, Tennis Warrior Moon, and you will prevail!"

      TW Moon nodded and stormed into the classroom.  "Stealing student's
energies to enable you to rule the world isn't right!  The classroom
should be a place of learning, not of rote recitation!  For boring me
nearly to DEATH, I will punish you in the name of the moon!"  Moon twisted
about fluidly in the poses she had been practicing, although she almost
poked her eye towards the end.  

      "So you think you're smart, eh?"  Kyoto-monster began, starting to
transform into a hideous parody of herself, and believe me, getting uglier
than she was before wasn't easy.  

      "No, not really,"  Moon said.  "My grades are okay, but I'm not the
smart one."

      "Then...hey, I can't lead into my attack if you ADMIT you're aren't
good at school!"  Youma Bigmouth frowned.  

      TW Moon shrugged and lofted a tennis ball.  "MOON SLAM!"  The ball
shot across the intervening space and struck Youma Bigmouth right in the
forehead.  

      She screamed, "AAA!!!! INSTANT MIGRAINE!" and dissolved into dust.  

      "Well, that was easy,"  TW Moon said.  Once she finished making sure
her friends were okay, she headed out into the hallway, only to find it
was clogged with demonic teachers and zombieized students, all coming
towards her.  "..."

********************

       Ryouko-sensei and Luna weren't having much luck, either.  They were
trapped in a side-hallway with two badly dressed youma in plaid suits and
a horde of drooling zombified students closing in.  Ryouko took this
moment to suddenly realize.  Wait...cats don't normally talk.  I'm
following a talking cat.  This hadn't quite sunk in earlier.  "You'd
better run, Luna.  I think I'm done for, but at least you can get away."
She put on a brave face.  

       Luna looked up and saw the sign of Jupiter shining on Ryoko's brow.
Of course, she thought.  I should have recognized her earlier!  The front
wave was attacking by the time she managed to conjure up the
transformation pen.  She tossed it to Ryoko, who was struggling with them,
and shouted, "Shout IT'S CLOBBERING TIME!"

       Ryoko paused in the process of getting grappled by three freshmen
and said, "What?"

       "JUST DO IT!"  Luna shouted.  These youngsters just don't listen to
their elders, she thought.

       "IT'S CLOBBERING TIME!"

       Power struck her like a bolt from the blue.  Every wall socket in
the hallway exploded, and lightning arced from them, tossing the zombies
away from her and shredding her clothing to tiny bits.  It resolved itself
into several arcing circles which spun about her in the atomic energy
sign.  The scent of ozone filled her nostrils as her clothing reformed
into her battle uniform.  A tennis racket forged of lightning appeared in
her right hand, and her whole body crackled with energy.  The energy sank
into her, concealing herself until it was needed.  

      Half the zombies were drooling, and she blushed horribly, realizing
half the boys in the school had just seen her naked.  Most of the girls
started beating them up, while a few of the guys collapsed with massive
nosebleeds.  She only had to deal with the monsters.  Words came
instinctively into her mind.  "POWER SERVE!"  A ball of lightning formed
in her left hand and she tossed it into the air, batting it with her
racket towards one of the teacher youmas.  It struck the youma, causing it
to explode spectacularly.  The other youma fled.  

      She turned to Luna, "What is going on?"

      "I'll explain later."

      They heard Moon scream.  "Come on!  We have to help her!"

*************************

      TW Moon was hard pressed.  Well, to be honest, she was running for
her life, but they trapped her in a hallway with no exits.  The horde was
closing in, and she'd used up all six of her tennis balls.  Now she was
swinging her racket wildly and screaming.  

       Suddenly, a voice cut through the sounds of combat.  "FORE!"  A
golf ball tore through the middle of the horde, sending panicked zombies
flying.  It was the Masked Golfer.  "Don't despair, Tennis Warrior Moon!
I stopped by the gym on the way here!"  He hurled a huge bag of cans of
tennis balls to Tennis Warrior Moon.  

       Tennis Warrior Moon shouted, "Thanks!"

      "Just doing my job!  Time for me to play through!"  He chipped
another golf ball off the wall and through the horde, then sprinted off
deeper into the school.  

      Tennis Warrior Moon opened fire on the crowd, and then Tennis
Warrior Jupiter arrived with Luna, and took the horde from behind.  Soon,
there were knocked out Youmas and downed zombie students everywhere.  The
knocked out youmas crumbled to dust, while the zombies just laid around
and got in the way.  

      "We've got to find the Principal,"  Tennis Warrior Jupiter said.
"He's been replaced by a monster."

      Tennis Warrior Moon nodded.  "Wow, you found another Tennis Warrior,
Luna!  I'm glad you showed up!  And the Masked Golfer brought me lots more
balls!"

      Luna said, "At this rate, we'll find the whole squad in time for the
Summer Solstice Games."  She paused.  "Well, if they hadn't been cancelled
for the last 25,000 years or so due to the obliteration of civilization.

*******************

       General Jinnai sat back and laughed.  Soon I will have an army
large enough to CRUSH Mizuhara forever!  His maniacal laughter was
interrupted by two Tennis Warriors and a cat coming through the office
door.  One of them, with a moon symbol on her visor, said, "So, President
Nixon!  I see you faked your own death and joined the forces of evil!  I,
the lovely Tennis Warrior Moon will PUNISH YOU!"  She leaped onto his desk
and struck several poses, knocking a paperweight into his lap in the
process.  

       Tennis Warrior Jupiter said, "Um, Moon...that's a mask he's
wearing."

       Moon paused.  "Oh, right.  I guess I won't launch into a speech
about Watergate as well, then?"

       "Mizuhara sent you, didn't he?  CURSE HIM!  I'll get him and his
little dog Toto too!  Next time, Tennis Warrior Spoon!  Next time!"

       "Moon.  MOON."

       General Jinnai stood up.  "Moon me, and I'll sue!"  He waved his
hands and said, "Beam me up, Harpo."

       A beam of light stabbed down and he vanished.

       Luna said, "He'll be back."

       "So what is going on here, anyway?"  Tennis Warrior Jupiter asked.

       "It all began a long time ago, on a moon not too far away on the
cosmic scale,"  Luna began.

*********************

       Once the youma had been destroyed, most of the missing teachers
were eventually discovered to be at home, having been called by the
principal and told that the school had blown up in a terrorist attack.
The students recovered, although many of them had interesting fantasies
about Ryoko-sensei for weeks.  

       Ryoko-sensei herself went home after a long session of talking with
Luna and Miki to think about what had happened, to clean up, and to fret
about Namura-kun.  She was quite pleased to find a message on her
answering machine.  

      "Sorry, I didn't call.  I was hideously sick, and until today, I
couldn't even muster the strength to use the phone.  Hope to see you in a
few days.  I hear I missed a terrorist attack or something.  Call me,
okay?"  It was Namura-kun.  He called me, she thought.  It made her
heart sing.

*********************

      Miki went to FINALLY read Meiko's entry in the exchange diary.  "Can
I tell Meiko that I'm Tennis Warrior Moon, Luna?"

      Luna shook her head.  "We have to keep it a secret."

      Miki sighed.  "I don't want to lie to her."

      "Just don't explicitly deny it and you won't be lying."  Luna
replied, curling up on the bed.

      Miki opened the diary and suddenly realized that Meiko would have
seen what Urd wrote in her diary.  Looking over at Meiko's entry, the
first part was fairly mundane.  'I worked on a story today, but I can't
figure out how to get the ending I want.  The characters keep wanting to
discuss Sartre, but it's supposed to be a story about the Smurf-Carebear
war.  Maybe I should write in an Angst Bear or Goth Smurf."  Okay, it
wasn't that mundane, but then it got weirder.  "I have decided to shave my
head and move to Tibet and start a sex cult which worships me as the
reincarnation of the Dalai Parton.  Then I will make a remake of
Apocalypse Now in which the renegade Colonel is actually Colonel Chicken.'

       Miki stared in disbelief.  Meiko didn't seem to have completely
flipped out when she was at school.

       'Will you become my first worshipper, Miki?  Check [ ] Yes or [  ]
No.'

      Miki boggled.  This was a joke, right?  It had to be a joke.  At
least, I sure HOPE this is a joke...