Title done in the font of "Litterbox".  It reminds Harold of the font on "Dawsons Creek" because I don't want to wait for our lives to be oveeeeeeeeeeeeer o/~

I'm sure you are wondering exactly what this is.  Well, it's my webpage and dedication to one of my dearest friends, Harold.  I'll tell you how I originally met him. 

Back in 1994 I had been part of the local Rocky Horror Picture Show cast. By some random twist of fate, he had picked up an ad asking for castmembers.  Him, being the innocent college student looking for something to do with his time, decided to join our RHPS cast.   All I remember is that he was sitting by my stuff, presumably waiting for one of the head castmembers to talk to him.  The only thing I thought was "Who is that guy by my stuff!?  I hope he doesn't try to steal anything, I'll kick his ass!"

We later became better friends.  It was because of my friendship that he was able to drive out his evil roomate at UNLV with long talks on the phone about X-men and Mystery Science Theater 3000.  You would think that this wouldn't bother a normal person... but we actually did this on school nights till 3-4 am in the morning.  WAHAHAHAHA. 

This page will transcribe Harold's Likes, Dislikes, and everything else in between.  Hell, even a good portion of the page will be in his own words, and not mine. 

"I like men."   He says over the phone to me as I type up this section.

One of the prize features of this page are Harold's emails back when he worked doing customer service for such wonderful companies as Adobe and Visioneer.  This page is probably very disorganized, but that will be one of the FUN parts of it.  You will learn more about this wonderful man of mystery.


 This is a picture of Harold holding what he would like to refer to as "Demon Spawn".  Harold would like to make me agree with him, because this child broke my 1" plastic Kenshin keychain because he honestly thought it was "going to attack him".  This is the true reason why parents aren't allowed to let their kids watch Television alone.

Random Comments and Stuff
Hehehehe, I just wanted to recount a little story about early today, Wednesday, November 26th. See, about 4 weeks ago or so I lent Melodie a couple of comic books, and then lately I was hounding her to return them cuz it don't take that fricking long to read 2 comic books, well she finally returned them today, but there were spots on the cover, like grease or water or something, which to me means they are totally ruined.  So I net send her saying, geez thanks for ruining my comics, cuz I sure as heck know that the day I lent them to you which was also the day I bought them there weren't any spots on them...For being a comic book collector yourself, I thought you knew how to handle them...and if you want them, you can have them, they're currently in the trash can in the lunch room.

Brutal, huh? But shit, they're so less than perfect now, and on top of  that they're probably harder to get, them being #1 issues of 2 miniseries, Kitty Pryde: Agent of Shield, and Wolverine:Days of Future Past. Say 'La Vee'! 

But then again, who knows the next time I'll be able to come over, since work is a cruel mistress, never relenting.

Anywhos, write back or die! :*

Just like that Hunchback song, 'Someday...' and then it goes on...
I think you should put some of my scary Denny's pix on yo website...also the one with Chris and his balloon boobs, I'm sure he would love that...for added embarrassment why not put on your website Randy as Sailor Jupiter, I'm sure he'd love you for it!
Shampoo wants to mow your carpet, baybee!
I'm so sad, People Magazine listed Backstreet Boys as one of the worst in 1997!!! <sniff> QUIT PLAYING GAMES WITH MY FAVORITE BAND! heheeheheheheehehheheeh :*

I am now the keeper of the candy basket now that Sherryl is on vacation.

Which reminds  me cuz every time I go to work I pass that building that used to be a Boston Market and it closed up, and now there is a banner about coming soon Kyoto, a japanese restaurant, we need to go, and I be sure to have the chef make you a 'love' okonomiyaki, if you know what I mean O_- ehehehehehehehe I'm sooooo Ya-o-ee? I dunno how to spell nothin...

Eh. I was expecting a pic of Lucy Lawless topless...

Hmmm, Lucy Lawless topless.  Say that 5 times fast-

Yay Val, I'm your 1600th visitor....but I think I was also visitor
1599, 1598, 1597, etc...

Is there a way to have a separate Harold counter, for me and only me?

Yawners I am so bored... Finally finished my stupid janky Adobe test... hehehehe I answered the last question of "If you were to be  reincarnated as an Adobe product, which one would you be and why?" with "Adobe Type On Call cuz to my understanding it was a pain in the ass." Heheheheehehe...
While coloring the Teletubbies, I had the most horrendous thought...What if Aaron Spelling owned the rights to them. Oh what a glorious day....Po would show reruns of Charlie's Angels, Laa Laa could show Fantasy Island and Love Boat, Dipsy would show the daytime crapper Sunset Beach, and Tinky Winky, being the oldest, would showcase such nighttime fare like Beverly Hills 90210 and Melrose Place. 

Ugh! I be responding back on a WebTV and it sucks...I had one thing to mention about your response to the reincarnation... you responded ain't that the truth, were you referring to the TOC as a pain in the ass, or me???? Cuz you KNOW we ain't even had sex yet for you to come to that conclusion!

NOW....I have to go potty now...I'd take you with, but to drag a whole computer with me 
would be rather tedious...
My time card is so evil, like you know that I alternate my entries with my red and green pens, well Nancy was doing the time cards on Sunday morning, and she's color blind.  Oopsies.

Customer Service Hell
Subject: Woohoo! I pissed off an Adobe customer NO DA!

So this bitch calls up about seeing a promotion concerning the Action Pack being bundled with full retail versions of Adobe products, and she's wondering if she can get it. I asked her when she bought it, she goes it was a gift a couple of months back. Do you know when you received, and she goes on about she can't remember, so I say so you don't even have an approximate month, she goes off about my smart attitude and that I've been no help whatsoever and that she will never call again and I say "Okay, thank you for calling Adobe, goodbye" really cheerily. Another satisified customer of Feisty Spice.

Subject: Adobe PhotoShop 5.0 t-shirts

Yay! Found a stash of t-shirts. Got an XL for Chris and a L for Val.  Merry Christmas in June...

Anywhos, I love making customers feel dumb, like they say tech support is not available and I actually say back "Of course it isn't available, it's 1 in the morning!!!!" 

Subject: PC Connection is a cartel conspiracy

"Thank you for calling Adobe, my name is Jason, are you calling about
a mailer that you received?"


"And how may I help you today?"

"Well, I am really upset. I've ordered the Acrobat 3.01 from PC Connection 2 weeks ago and I still haven't received it. First they tell me it's an unreleased product, and then they say they haven't received their shipment from you."

"Well, unfortunately I don't know why that is since Acrobat 3.01 has been released for quite some time."

"No, it's a new product."

"No, ma'am it's been out for awhile and if you'd like I can check the exact release date of the product."

"Yes do that please, and could you tell me why you haven't shipped out to PC Connection? I am upset, and quite frankly so were they so that's why they sent me to you."

"Well unfortunately this department would have no information whatsoever concerning distribution orders. Oh, and as for the release date of 3.01, it'll have been a whole year as of tomorrow, July 21st since it's been out. So clearly, it is not a new product."

etc etc etc

Yah bitch I know the reason why PC Connection really referred you to me, they were tired of hearing you bitch, ma'am, so they figured let's let some poor sap at Adobe here you bitch.

Love always, and thank you for calling

I placed an order for a lady whose city was Denton...I got bored so I asked if she knew of any of my family members, like a Brad Majors, or a Janet Weiss, she said no, hahahahahahahahaha j/k.
I've only been here for eight days 88888888888888888, I LIVE HERE , I work on Thanksgiving....I work all the time cuz i have no life. but now I do and I CANT ENJOY! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHH! And really how dare they,  like these other units need to get it through their damn heads that I am their overflow person, never fucking ever put me on as a primary for Symantec, Symantec Canada, or Visioneer, they are their own sections!!!!!!!! I am a primary for Starfish and SCS, and we know they never ever really get slammed.....So Symantec needs to call in their own damn people of they get slammed, it is not my problem that they apparently don't have a great rapport and none of their workers want to come in. And what the hell was Visioneer thinking, as usual they are the fucked up client....really....Okay they are supposed to be closed on Thanksgiving but calls sneak through on at least 2 of their 800 #, then today I find out that their 800 # are still off and so they sent pretty much all of their workers home, but they are trying to get them turned on so I can get slammed with that fucking clients calls...FUCKED FUCKED FUCKED!!!!!

Okay so like one time I get a Symantec registration call on my phone that I didn't want to take so I leave it on my phone on mute. Stefanie all of a sudden transfers a Visioneer call to my extension, so I have a call on mute, and a Visioneer call waiting afterwards. So I transfer both calls back to her. She transfers the Symantec call to Chris Louden in Visioneer ETS and the Visioneer call back to me, and I transfered the call to Henry's extension, who already had a call on mute that he wasn't in the mood to answer.

Nice story, huh, not as good as those yaoi Ranma/Ryouga stories I've recently found, but good nonetheless.

Ugh, Yay got my first graveyard weirdo. Claimed that the internet was all a cartel run by one computer. I say, uh, no it's not. He says Yes it is and he has the proof. I almost want to say \/\/hatever to him, but I actually restrained it, and say instead, well in any case just contact the appopriate number if you need technical assistance. What a dork.

Subject:  Re: The Availability of the Paperport mx is a Cartel Conspiracy

Mr. Customer: Do you guys still make the mx?
Me: Yes.
Mr: Then why can't I find one in the store.
Me: It's the store's decision to carry what they want to sell...But in any case you can purchase directly.
Mr: How much is it currently?
Me: $99
Mr: Can we do C.O.D.?
Me: No.
Mr: So it would have to be a credit card?
Me: If you want to place the order over the phone, yes.
Mr: Well what about a check?
Me: Yes you can send a check. Would you like the address?
Mr: Yes, please.
Me: You would send that to Visioneer at-
Mr: Can you fax me that info?
Me: No. Now, as I was saying...

And so the conversation goes....

Hmmm some other favorites.

Me: Would you like the tech support number?
Mr: Can you just transfer me?
Me: No, now would you like the tech support number?

Me: That number is 888-
Mr: Is that a toll free #?
Me: Uh, yes, 888 is a toll free #.

Another favorite convo from last night...from an Adobe call

Me: How can I help you?
Adobe: huh?
Me: What is your issue?
Adobe: What do you mean, my issue?
Me: Like, why are you calling me????

Am I being to bitter to these customers that have nothing better to do than waste *my* time? 

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